Untitled

“How many ?”
“3, what about you?”
“4. “

No, this is not the number of times they watched Sivaji; nor is it the number of wheels on their vehicle of choice.
It is, sadly the number of placement offers engineering graduates get these days. If you don’t have atleast three, you are not 'good enough' these days. Of course no prizes for guessing what happens to the rest of the 2. Flushed down the drain. Little do they realize what the effects are.

In this process of "de-selection", these graduates are hurting the corporates, their college, their friends, and believe it or not, themselves. Let me dwell upon each of these.

Corporates getting affected is obvious. They spend lots of money in sending a panel down; the people spend 1-2 days at the venue, make offers to whosoever qualifies. Finally, very few people actually join. Let me quote some figures here. Assuming you have a panel of 5, working for two days; resulting in 80 man hours (assuming 8 hours a day - though in reality it’s much much more). Lets multiply it by the offshore billing rate of a developer - which could be 20$/Hr. 1600$ - Rs. 64k. This is just the cost of the people. To and fro flight tickets - assuming 3000Rs/head one way - Rs 30k. Stay in a five star hotel - Rs 20k. So they spend more than 1 lac for two days; and let me again take a recent example; Accenture came to our college; I heard that about 10 of those selected are people who don’t already have offers. Which means, there is a chance they would atleast turn up. So the hit ratio is just 30%. Spare a thought for the recruitment team, whose appraisal is dependent on these numbers - they are way off their targets. No wonder corporates are now spending more time on this process. But of course, who cares! Corporates? Bah; they have loads of money. What is a lac to them?

College? Definitely yes. From the above it is clear the corporates are taking statistics seriously. They have now started keeping track of the conversion ratio for each of the colleges they visit. And if it goes below a certain rate, the college could well rule out a subsequent visit by the corporate. Of course, who cares? It is for the next batch right? I won’t have to suffer!

Your friends! I guess this is another quite obvious thing. Remember that the corporates wouldn’t usually be having a fixed number in their mind. The cut offs for their tests would be floating; which would mean, if a certain % of people don’t clear the initial cut off they had in mind, they would lower it. I have been on enough recruitment drives to know this for a certainty. But what are those guys who have already cleared test doing? They are very clearly setting the bar higher and virtually ruling out a chance for their unlucky friends who couldn’t get an offer as yet! One thing to note is that the companies which come in at later stages understand that other corporates have already visited the campus, and hence would expect a lesser standard of performance. Hence, if these people sit out, they are virtually guaranteeing their friends a job. But of course, who cares! I wanna show I'm capable of more!

But what they don’t realize is one thing - that attending many such drives, landing offers would one day land them in the soup as well. I've mentioned on how corporates are tracking conversion ratios w.r.t colleges; with advanced ERP packages on offer, corporates have now begun to keep track of people who have spurned their offers. It is being vehemently practiced for lateral recruits. That is now getting extended to the freshers as well. So, in future if you want to join a company which you rejected as a fresher, chances are they'd turn the tables on you.
Moreover, it reflects on your ability to make and back up a decision. With there being an abundance of opportunities, all freshers have an opportunity of virtually choosing which firm they want to join. My opinion is for all to exercise this option judiciously; atleast that is an ideal way to start off your career. You have made a strong decision; you are backing you decision; you are giving your friends a chance; you are giving something back to the college; and you are not harming the corporates either. C'mon its time to show some spine!

The Team

Pingg... the card swiper buzzed. I'm probably signing out for the last time as a developer for the International account. A little more than three years.. Three years of building a career, three years of building friendships and relations... And now things are going to change. Time of beckoning is here. The US of A beckons...

I wish to dedicate this post to my team mates who have helped me become what I am.

Mar 15 , 2004
I joined UST as a fresher. With expectations galore of making a career. Of making a name; of making the moolah. The initial days were spent on trainings. By the end of the month I was allocated to a team which was servicing one of the biggest names in the Finance domain. I was there for about three months before I had the chance to move on.

July 15 , 2004
My story begins on this day. The day I was allocated to International. I was put in a team which was developing an internal tool for account management activities. I put in my best efforts on this project, and was recognized for my contributions by making me billable. "Billable" was a big thing for any fresher. It meant that the company was starting to gain from your work, and the client was going to pay for it.

Aug 17 , 2004
I started my first project as a billable resource. I had the satisfaction of having turned billable within a month of being in the account. Manoj was leading the two member team, and the team being just two in size put a lot of stress on me. I had to work on technologies I had no first hand experience with. The quality could not be compromised; neither could the schedule, since it was directly going to the client. Looking back, I believe that whatever I could achieve was due to the fact that I learnt to face pressure right from the start of my career; and believe me it was one heck of pressure. It meant spending virtually 12+ hours in office. It meant being scolded for producing shoddy work. It meant missing parties; it meant lesser time for friends. Fortunately for me, the team was simply superb. There would always be someone who could spot if you were in trouble and then come forward to help you. I always wonder where I would have ended up if not for such a team.

Sep 15 , 2004
My confirmation happened. This was the first appraisal of my career, and I felt good about having really done something and having made a good start to my career. If only I knew what lay ahead.

Oct 2 , 2004
The first project was successfully moved to production on this day. Manoj moved to another project, and I was asked to take over another project, which was an extension of the first one; only that it was being done in .net, which was something I'd been trained on. And so there it was! I was technically a project lead in 6 months. Of course, of a single member team (a fact that I conveniently "forget"). It was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I realized that being solely responsible for a project was not something easy to be doing. You could always rely on other members in the account, but finally it was your project and anything going out of control would be deemed a failure. Survive or Perish. For more than a year I handled this project. In between, there were two freshers allocated to the project, and I could say that added on the pressure. I had to do my work; in addition, I had to give them work, review it and also mentor them. Often I ended up wishing there were more than 24 hours a day. This hectic a schedule meant that I missed the Foundation week celebrations. I had to sit back in office and finish something urgently required for the client. I remember walking down the corridors and seeing no one there; feeling terribly let down. There were numerous such times when I would hit an ultimate low; but the only thing that kept me going is the urge to achieve something and to make a worthwhile career. Nowadays I see freshers wilting under even sublime amounts of pressure and I wonder at their attitude. Or is it that we are faltering in our recruitment strategies?

Mar 15, 2005 - appraisal
In March, my first real appraisal happened (the first one was only for conformation; from this time on, there would be different band based on performance..) All the while I'd believed that I'd done pretty well to be slotted in the top band, but when the letters were rolled out, I was shocked to find only a B grade. That destroyed me. I couldn’t believe that I was not being recognized for the work I had done. I ended up sending "senti" mails to my manager and the HR folks, who said they would try for an up-gradation. But by then, I'd come to believe that if my manager did not feel so, then there was no point in arguing. Also, I knew that it wasn’t sufficient to do the good work, it was also necessary to do good work and let your manager know about it. Seemed like blowing your own trumpets, but that is the way the industry is. Right then I decided that I wouldn’t work for anything less than an A band; and from that day on till now, I haven’t failed to keep my word to myself.

Nov 30, 2005
I finally ended the 1+ year long project. The biggest take always from this one was the ways of dealing with pressure and the process awareness I created leading the team. In December I started out with another project, but this time with two other seniors - and fortunately, there was lesser pressure. Ramesh was leading the team, and Varma was also there. The schedule was pretty much relaxed and I remember going to Veg World every evening, with Nattu and Ramesh - primarily to watch the TCS girls who would swarm the place by 7pm.

Mar 01, 2006
Once that project was completed, I moved on to one of the most challenging assignments of my career. Vipul Shah was a name everyone in my account fears. He is one of the toughest task masters with International. He was known for his ruthless criticism of any work we do. His project needed a person, and very few were willing to move in. I was kind of forced to move in. Initially, it was very tough. I understood why he was so deeply feared. He would ask a question on the name of a variable in a program; he wasn’t willing to accept anything but the highest standards and quality. Gradually, I got into the groove. The 1 year I spent on the project taught me things which I could never have learnt had I been elsewhere. Vipul also constantly talked to us in business terms, which made us understand the nuances of the business very well. All this augmented my knowledge to new heights. This one year was ht most rewarding phase of my career.

June 29th 2007
The friday that will be another date etched in my mind. A plethora of feelings, a flood of emotions as I walked out of the door. Lots of memories I have omitted from here; a vast majority being personal. These 3 years have given me some unforgettable memories; friends for a life time, hope, love and also despair. Life here has taught me to get up when I fall, to hope and risk, and to live it to the fullest. I will miss the raucous laughter, the birthday parties, the team meetings and the "California" tea; but life must go on. I am praying it goes one full circle.

Inertia

Social inertia is a term that applies the concept of inertia to psychology and sociology. It is used to describe the resistance to change presented by societies or social groups, usually due to habit. An example of social inertia can be noticed in United States nonconformity with the SI standard units.
This is a term I've heard over the years, particularly being applied to me. The reason - my unwillingness to look for a change of jobs even after 4 years of being in one organization. I'd never given thought to the word as such, but these days when a change is on the cards, I thought why not look up what gives to Inertia in the corporate world.

Unlike my other posts, I had to do quite some amount of research to pen this one. And I am sure, it wouldn't be too exciting a read considering such bland topics; but I realize that I must learn to write stuff on such matter if i gotta change. And hence, an article against change, for a change. Now that I have laid out in simple terms what this is all about [;-)], lets start.

Inertia in itself is a paradigm by which people tend to restrict and resist changes. We are too comfortable with whats happening around; we are in a deep slumber, and we don't wish to wake up. But, does this definition in reality apply to the desire of a person to associate on a long term basis with a job he finds good? No, not for me at least.

Consider the power of the laws of inertia. Most people stay unless the pressure to leave becomes unbearable. Even in awful marriages, most men and many women stay unless the pain becomes more than they are willing to endure. It is only then that they either leave, or open the emotional door to being seduced away. It is no different in business. If conditions are good, the tendency is to stay. If conditions are bad then almost any carrot (and money is a very sweet smelling carrot) will tempt them away.

But again, thinking money is the only motivator is to assume that all people value the same things in the same hierarchy all of the time and at all stages of their life. Priorities change from person to person, and within a person itself, from time to time. And it is when these priorities change that people often look for a change. Or in other words, a change in priority catalyses anti-inertia.
In our highly educated and industrialized society, needs such as self-esteem, challenge, creativity, acceptance, belonging, and even aesthetics are the primary priorities. The challenge and enjoyment of the work itself, as well as the quality of life in the work environment are significant for most educated people. Others, need the security and comfort provided by feeling close to the people with whom they work.

Having put down the theory, I now examine why I am inertial. I appreciate
- An exceptional team
- A trustworthy management
- Having a say in the work I do and the manner in which I do it.
- Recognition and reward of effort
- Flexible working hours
- Being made feel important.

Of course, all people are not alike, nor are their needs alike. Nor can all companies create the same type of quality work life. Even this company might change its priorities tomorrow. Gone are those post Industrial Revolution days when once could threaten employees to work. Gone are those days when people were willing to work in uncomfortable working environments. As I recounted before, they'd bite the first carrot offered.

Having said all this, I seriously debate if this turned out to be an ad campaign for my company, or a justification for my inertia. Whatever it is, I am not willing to change it. Again, this brings to mind another hot topic - Don't love thy company, love thy job. But more on that, another time... And when you have fallen off you chairs sleeping, don't sue me for breaking your backbone!

A Teddy Bear named TED

Oxford Street, London. Famed for the Oxford Circus. On Oxford Street 1, Shop #526 is Mothercare. A shop for young growing families ... A shop with lots of toys for the kids... This story is of a Teddy Bear brought in when the shop was just opening. Ted

Ted was brought in as a mascot for the shop. Everyone loved him, he loved everyone back. The customers loved to pet it, and the owner believed it was responsible for doubling the business. The situation was all hunky-dory .. Until ..

The shop was very big now and the Owner decided to bring in some new teddies.. Ted took on the task of training them, to show them how to behave in the shop, how to react to the love shown by customers, and to give them an idea of their duties and responsilbities. Among the new lot was a cute she bear. Dorothy.

Dorothy took an immediate liking to Ted. His caring attitude won her over, and quite oblivious to Ted, she was falling for him. The days they spent together fortified her liking for him. And one fine day she told him. Ted already liked her, and when he heard this, his joy knew no bounds. After all, someone like him had told him he was loved.

The days ahead were the most memorable for them. They spent whatever time they could find, together. They talked for hours on together. Ted had never known such love in his life and he was happy for it.

Things took on a turn for the worse one fine day. The owner was opening shop in another corner of London, and since he believed Ted was a lucky mascot, he wanted to put him there. The day the decision was known, Ted and Dorothy sat and looked each other in the eyes, no words spoken. They knew the time had come, thought no one wanted to say Good Bye. They knew the owner was being selfish, but what could they do?

The day Ted was taken away, both cried... Tears that may or may not dry... Would there be another Ted? Would there be another Dorothy?

1987-1999

Orkut recently gave me two long lost schoolmates - Dhrisya and Sreeranjini. They re-kindled some of those long forgotten memories .. Cherian and me were laughing over them the other day. He told me to post this on my blog. Of course a lot of things we did then cannot even be mentioned in passing here. Albeit, a refined version worthy of reading is what i strive to present here.
This is not one story, but a collection of incidents from 1st to 12th standards, which still remain fresh in my mind. And i remember Cherian complimenting me for remembering the things i did and that too vividly. Ironically, i forget a lot of things happening to me now. Alzheimers? Selective Amnesia? What the $&#^$(
Ok so here we go...

Class 1 The admission interview I had with Saraswathy madam, and my father had accompanied me, because amma was pregnant with my bro.I also remember Shantanu Basu and Khwaja from this class. Both had a problem controlling their bowels. And often, one would end up screwing noses on account of the smell, when they let go.And the place where 1C was located - in the far left corner of the quadrangle on the opposite side of where you entered. I remember we had this big fight using water in our water bottles with class 1A. The result or the aftereffects escape me, but we might have won. ;-)

Class 3 My mother teaching social studies... Ohh.. that was so scary. She seemed to like every student but me. She refused to help me do my assignments which were given by her. I remember having been asked to find out names of five rivers in india and me forgetting to remember that. Yuck

Class 4 There came a beautiful girl to class. Kuwait war was going on and she was from there. Of course a mallu, but oh boy was she pretty. Almost every guy in class used to go ga ga. Our class this year was on the first floor, top right corner. And that gave us the excuse to sit near her - as it was the first floor, sunlight used to flood in making it impossible for those on one side to properly view the blackboard. All guys used to volunteer (compete would be a better word) to sit in the middle, even if it was on the floor.Why? She sat in the middle row. She left school the next year.. dunno where she is now... Aaahh..

Class 5 The final years of primary schooling. Manoj had a big influence in the class now. He told us, how to react if you touch a girl. We would rub it off with our hands and shoo it away .. or rub it on another guy's face. Gawd, and to think now that we yearn for a such touch .. how the years have gone by.. And of course how can i forget the school leader elections - my first brush with democracy, where Kannan(Class 5A) defeated me. I think the vote was 119-82, though i wouldnt take a bet on that. Of course, Saheej with his unending stock of stories of little men called undapkkru, who regaled us with them during lunch breaks. I still wonder if he made them up on the fly.And then all those abba and katti stuff. One day you ver part of Manoj's gang, the next day part of another.

Class 6 Highschool. First day of class, Muraleedhara Kurup sir was our class teacher and he said "your easy days are over. teachers in primary would give you lots of marks and cajole you. But from now on, its not gonna be that way. Work hard"

Class 8 The best memory of this year is the SUPW period - Socially useful productive work (later we we rechristened it Some useful periods wasted). Anyways, during one of these periods, Manoj, who else, who had this wonderful habit of going through girls' bags(girls would leave to another room where they were taught sewing and knitting and the works) found Rajis diary and in it written that she had a crush on me.Interesting thing is, it was what he claimed, and my friends still go by that claim. It was supposedly written in "code", the key to which was in the previous weeks' balarama. He copied the "code" into his diary and brought it to us deciphered, the next day. At that moment, I was shattered. All i could think of was my mothers reputation. Heehhe.. u are all ROTFL right? Hummphh

Class 9 The same SUPW period again - but this time with Pushkaran sir, affectionaltely known as Pushku. Like the girls, we too had to move to a new room wherein we were taught electrical wiring, hangar and candle making etc. The fun started as soon as each class began. We poured water into the candle moulds, bent the hangars the wrong way and then dropped condemned age old ceiling fans lying at the back of the class from a height to make a clattering noise that rang across the quadrangle.Pushku would chase us around the room, but that added to the meele. What a onderful time we hadAlso, social studies in English with Usha madam, Maths with Lalitha madam (uhh) and English with christopher sir are some of the things i remember

Class 10 The time of reckoning had finally arrived. Board Exams..every teacher asking just one thing. Study study and study. they loaded us with assignments and extra classes..but the thing i remember most is the result. Ashish's father knew someone in Madras and he helped us know the result beforehand. I'd scored 418 - 83.6%...far far below what my parents had expected. After prolonged discussions, it was decided that they would admit me for Commerce; my mark wasnt that bad, but for them, it was. I still remember the day when the official results were pasted on the notice board(there was no web publishing as yet, then) and i calculated my mark as 437. 418 was Anoop's mark, the guy just above me on roll. This pacified my parents and i am here finally because of that change in decision. I always wonder if at the first time itself my correct marks were known, would they be happy?Aah, my mind is not accustomed to handle such a complex question.

Class 11 and 12 Why two together? Because all i did was have fun, fun and more fun. Adolescence had set in, and it was quite difficult for me and my parents. I was very stubborn, had a bloody character and cared for nothing. My 11th results showed all that. I dunno how i managed to scrape through. In 11th i had some of my best relations with friends... a close group of people and we had fun together. In 12th, the experience of 11th having given me a light jolt, i tried to give a lil more attention to studies. But i remember when our house won the best bulletin board prize every time and at the year ending ceremony, we were given a special prize for that. I was in charge of it.I also remember a letter a close friend had written to me. I still have it with me; though i lost touch with her, in times of great solitude, that letter gives me a lot to think about.
Okkei, so we are at the end of a memorable school life.. I have more vivid memories, but to mention all would bore you to death (As if I've not done that already rite)

The girl who called me a dog

Hehehe... I am laughing at the some of the titles i cook up. Anyway, this is for real. And this piece is on my dear friend from college who gave me the darling name Snoopy. She told me i looked like him. Of course Snoop is a dog and so naturally by the theorem of association, she called me a dog. I knew with this kind of reasoning is shouldnt have been here.. I am destined for something else...Now, back to what i wanna write about.

Even though i call her a very close friend, she still remains an enigma to me, still is anonymous. (You now know why she keeps commenting to my posts under the anonymoud mode). Hi da, this one is for you. Expecting ur comments on this too..

Even being classmates, it wasnt too close a relation, because i always felt she had this unsurmountable wall against her heart that prevented anyone from getting a glimpse of anything. I later thought (or someone told me) that people build these high walls not to keep others out, but just to see who cares enough to climb it.

Well, I couldnt have cared less in college. But when we were out of college, and she remains one of the few people still with UST, we grew closer (I hope so). I also spent some time climbing that wall, only to see that there was another moat beyond it, the bridge over which, still remains drawn.
I always had an inkling that there was something wrong somehwere, and i cajoled her in every way possible to share it, but to no awail. I finally made her promise that one day she would. I hope the day come soon, for her sake.

Hey, i know u are reading this and so, heres another time i am reminding you of your promise...
And my dear other readers, what do u feel about all this? Another interesting "title" but not an interesting story to match?? :-D (I think i'll make that a habit from now on)

Kalavarahalli Beta

Adventure is something we software engineers can claim as our morning cup of tea. And to set things straight, my best friends from college and of course me, decided to arrange a trekking+adventure+get-together all in one. The place of course was bangalore, not because it was famed for its adventure spots, but because it was equidistant for all of us.

17th March was decided upon, and since it was a late call, and more because I was fed up travelling hunched up in a volvo for 16 hours, i decided to fly. Since time was not a big factor and money was, i decided to book myself on an Air Deccan, for a round trip journey. Anyways, unlike the visa experience, this time the flight took off on time. I reached Bangalore at around 10 am, Muneer had come to pick me up. We had breakfast on the way and then we went to the house where these guys stayed. Arun and Balaji were already there. After some chit chat and lots of rounds of playing cards, we went for lunch.

After lunch we packed things for the trip and set out on two bikes - and Enticer and a Karisma. Even though we set off by about 2, it was 4 pm by the time we were able to get out of the city. Another hour and half of driving, and we reached our mountain.(even though it was more of a hill, i'd call it a mountain for adding on to the dramatics) Called Kalavarahalli Beta, it wasn’t a tourist destination, and for the same reason, there wasn’t a chartered path to the top. Initially, we thought that was kewl and would give us the ultimate adventure; if only we knew what lay ahead..

We parked our bikes in an ashram which was quite some distance away from the foot of the mountain. We were also told human inhabitation ended there. Everything was adding on to the excitement. By 6 we'd started climbing one face of it. We'd already started realizing that time and light was not in our favor. Every step forward had to be ascertained as to whether it would lead us in the right direction. One time we might be held up by thorny shrubs, another time by huge rocks that seem to pop up out of nowhere. Coming up against such road blocks, we were often faced to retreat, crawl on knees, drag ourselves up rock faces and what not. Our hands and legs were already spotting with blood from the innumerable scratches.

7.30 pm and we were still only 80% to the top. We could not at that point see one inch infront of us. And hence we made the decision to halt. Being brave was one thing, being foolish another. From where we stood, we could guess that the way ahead would not be easy. It was growing steeper by the degree. And so, as soon as we found a place we could call level (even though there was a 20 degree incline, i'd call that level, in perspective)...

We had just enough space to stretch our legs and lie down. We started exchanging stories and chit chatting. At about 8, i suddenly realized that one big rock face some distance away to our left was very clearly visible. I realized that it was not so before. I showed it to the guys and even they were awe struck. It had a kind of a spooky lighting, almost like moon light reflecting off a big white sheet of cloth, and that too in a background of total darkness. We had got out our cameras, when we realized with a slight terror, that it was actually a fire which had started below. We were not sure if it was a forest fire or someone had set it off deliberately, to burn off the flora off the mountain. Anyways, the fact was that a fire had ignited, and it was starting to grow big.

This time of the year, when the sun is blazing down, all plants are dried up, and on this mountain, it was no different. To our horror, we found that the fire was spreading rapidly. We then had to take a decision - do we climb down then? Or ride on a remote chance that the fire might abate. As i mentioned before, bravery is one thing, foolishness is another; so we decided to descend. In hindsight that was a brave decision. The ascend was so easy... nothing of that sort could be said for the descent. It was a walk down hell. The fire on one side, darkness on the other... the slipping and crumbling earth and rocks beneath. I felt at that point that we had a larger share of adventure than we'd asked for. It was a race against time...We'd have to beat the fire before it beat us.

One of the most interesting things was how we never stopped to decide which way was best. We simply went climbing down, using the only source of light - a torch. Finally after an hour of exertion, we reached a plane ground, about 50% off the top. That was one place where the incline had graded off, and a sort of a step (a big one at that) was created. This place was risk free as there was a good amount of clearance from the edge of the shrubs, and hence no danger of the fire creeping up on us during the night.

If you think this was all, wait a minute. An hour later, we all had food, the guys along with me had KF beer and we were lying back, exchanging stories, cracking jokes and star gazing. The atmosphere was so serene that it is beyond words to describe it. We were all tired from the exertion and sleep was slowly getting to us. And lo and behold, what should we see, but a man walking towards us. We were scared stiff because we knew there was no inhabitation around. He came near us, and in broken pieces of english and telugu explained that he was a guide and that he would help us climb to the top, in the morning. We were pacified a bit, when he then asked us more than once if we would be spending the night at that place itself or we would be climbing up. This had us worried again. we decided not to sleep that night.

2 am, and it was becoming almost impossible to stay awake. The wind was doing its part by rustling the dead leaves and twigs giving the impression of someone walking. And then it actually happened. A group of four people suddenly materialized from our left side. Three guys and a gal. At 2 in the night, the composition of the group immediately made us realize that all was not well. They had also come trekking, and we told them the way. We also told them about the fire. They couldnt care less it seemed. Half an hour later, though, they were back saying they could not go on. Where they went from there is anyones guess. Poor girl.

Our sleep was all gone. At that point in the night, when it was really getting cold, not being able to sleep was something... and the only logical thing that came to our mind was to light a campfire. With the fear of igniting another forest fire, we'd decided against lighting one earlier. But now things had changed and we needed some action. All the twigs we collected earlier were put to good use. We had a nice fire going and then we did a war dance around it with all of us singing and chanting some crap song.

By 4.30 the last of the twigs had burnt off and we decided to pack our stuff. And by 5 we had begun our descent again. The slope was now very gradual and descent was easy. by5.30 we had reached the ashram only to find that nobody had woken up and the gates were still closed. We had to loiter there until 6 before they opened up. Once they did, we took off our bikes and there ended one of the best adventures of my lifetime.

PS:- I know you noticed that i did not do anything weird with the title.

Hydrochloric Acid

A long wait and finally my visa interview date was here.. 25th Jan... I had quite a few experiences during this trip. And since I was running out of ideas to post something here, I thought why not this one... I have broken it into the different stages of my travel, more so for my conveniece than yours.. :-)

Pattom to Airport.

Many of you are wondering why this stage is described. Don’t jump the gun, read on.
My flight time was 8 in the morning and I was there at the airport by 6.55. I sat there waiting for my friend. He came in 10 minutes later and we started walking to the entrance. I picked up my ticket from the bag and opened it to find a Paramount ticket there. I knew the morning flight was Air
Deccan, so I checked the next ticket and there was the Air Decca one; But there was some problem with the timings. That was when I realized that my onward travel was booked on a paramount which left at 5.45 in the evening rather than the 8 am Decca. My friend stared at me in disbelief that
I did not bother checking the ticket even once. Anyways, it was clear I could not go in that flight. Hence we said good bye, and I came back home. I had to cook up some nice story about Decca ditching me and they giving another ticket for the evening. That’s when I realized the worth of Air
Deccan never being on time. You could blame it on them and get away with it. Never did I realize, it would haunt me later...

Pattom to Airport- Retake
So finally, at 4pm, I again set off for the airport. Paramount had only recently started their Tvm-Chennai operations and hence the crew was all Courteous and they took good care of you and made you feel important. They even had a standing arrangement with the Muthoot group to provide
free refreshments, once you showed them the boarding pass. How I wished I did not have tea from home. Hence I declined the offer and proceeded to the waiting area. Some time later, Jayaram and Srinivas (singer) showed up. No, they were not signed by paramount to provide entertainment;
they were merely traveling to Chennai. I had heard about Jayaram's down-to-earth nature, but had not believed it, but it turned out to be true. He was very much pleasing..smiling at anyone who cared to offer him a glance.

The in-flight service was also good, and what was striking was the larger leg space compared to other domestic carriers. I'd definitely recommend this airline to others.

Chennai
Arrival
It was almost 7.30 by the time I claimed my baggage. I booked a prepaid taxi to my accommodation and proceeded to the taxi stand to find to my dismay all old ambassadors lining up. Certainly vehicles which need be condemned. But as luck would have it, an indigo came in at that point, and it
was scheduled for a pick up very near to where I wanted to go. Hence they asked me board the indigo. What luck. It took only half an hour to reach the accommodation. When I reached, I found that in addition to the friend who had left in the morning, there were three others who all had their visa interviews the other day. I knew all of them, so we had a good time that evening. That night, I was tensed. As always, I get tensed in a build-up to anything important. This time it was all the more so, since I did not have an idea if all the required documents were there with me. And to top it, a couple of my friends spend a lot of time going through the documents, trying to memorize things. Since I was in fear of finding something missing if I took out the documents, I never took them out.

D-Day
A couple of those guys had the interview at 8 in the morning, and so due to the noise, even I got up at 6. I knew I would not be able to sleep anymore, hence I spent time helping them get ready; tying a tie for one, getting ones shoes etc. By the time they'd left, the newspaper had arrived.
I spent an hour reading the paper. I cant imagine a day in my life when I’ve spent so much time reading a paper. There was another guy who had the interview at the same time as mine, at 11, but he was still sleeping as if he cared nothing in the world about this. By the time he'd got up, I'd
completed my morning ablutions. By 9.30 we got ready, had breakfast and left for the consulate. We were not sure how much time it would take in Chennai traffic to reach the consulate, hence the 2 hour allowance. But we reached there at 10. And the scene that awaited us there was nothing
short of spectacular

The consulate
We saw a half-a-kilometer long queue infront of the consulate. To imagine the plight, just think about standing on the footpath, besides one of the busiest roads of Chennai, in full formal attire. It was only by 11.45 that we reached the front of the queue. By the time, it was difficult to say I had a white shirt on. But the best thing it did was to calm me down. All and any nerves I had jumped back in place by this time. I then realized something which I had probably not noticed as yet. I get tensed building up for the grand finale; thinking about it. But when it is actually there, I am quite
unfazed. I remembered the times when I had to take sessions or conduct meetings or debate or extempore. It was always the prelude that was difficult to negotiate, the actual challenge was always easy..

Once the initial verification was over, I proceeded to the finger printing area. I placed my index fingers on the glass panel, and then I got a slight start. The person in charge took some time looking at the screen and then at me. He frowned his eyebrows, hit something on the keyboard, rubbed
his chin, and I had taken it for granted that my finger print matched some dreaded al-quaeda criminal. In my mind I was already seeing the visa team back home saying "gwad you are the first one to be rejected on finger prints... you have disgraced the company"... But, finally, he said thank
u sir and that was when I finally heaved a sigh of relief.

Once that was done, all I had to complete was the actual interview process. I was asked to change counters three times. most often having given my place to ladies with kids. Finally, to my relief, I saw a roly poly simple guy sitting at the interviewer’s desk. The kindness on his face was clearly
registering, and I felt even more relief. But then disaster struck again. There was this guy infront of me, who claimed 9 years of experience, and from the questions of Mr Roly Poly, one could fathom that they were not convinced. He then left his seat and came back with a lady, who started off
in a loud voice saying the certificates this man produced were fake. There took place a heated debate, and again my hopes of being issued a visa were being washed down the drain. This guy immediately took off; now there were two people infront of me. And at that point, I was amazed to see how the interviewer switched off and right back on again. None of the anger he showed to the fake guy was evident on his face. Within two minutes, he'd approved the visas of the people in front and suddenly it was my turn

"Good Morning sir, can I c ur documents please"
"Good Morning to you too sir; here they are"
"Can I see the supporting documents"
"Yes"
"Hmm.. So what is UST going to make you do once you are in the US"
I gave him the prepared answer with a lot of tech stuff.
He did not allow me to complete
"What branch of engineering did you do?"
"E&C"
"Ok sir, your visa is approved. Your passport will reach you after three working days"
"Thank you sir, have a nice day"

And it was over in a jiffy. And I was an H1b holder.

By the time I reached the apartment. it was 2.45. I then sent an sms to all my friends and team mates. After that I just collapsed on the bed and had a pretty deep sleep. Got up by 6, had a masala dosa and a coffee and then friend rice in the night.

Republic Day
The flight was originally scheduled for 12. But in the morning, by 9 itself I received a message saying it was delayed until 3.55. Consequently I reached the airport by 2.45. I checked in immediately, only to learn that the flight was delayed by another hour. Finally, after 2 hours of wait, it finally took off at 5.15 and I was in trivandrum by 6.30. And, so here I am now, blogging about my visa experience.

And for those of you who doubt why this post is titled so - did any of you people ask Roshan Andrews why notebook was called so, after watching the film? If you have not, don’t ask me about the title either. If you have, then you need an explanation - which is - this acid is released during
digestion process, and when people are tensed, it can lead to acidity and all related stuff. Rings a bell? No? Neither for me!!

Silver Jubilee and Beyond

2007 is special for the world. It will be a quarter of a century since it was blessed with me. But the same cannot be said for myself. This year brings with it the harsh reality that i might have only as much more time left in this world. No fantasies, no hopes for a longer life. This profession might leave us dead in 10 years time, so why think about even another 25. The next reason is more dreadful and is the topic of this post.

Marriage...Hmm... that sacred institution called marriage. Friends, classmates abd batchmates seems to be marrying off rapidly.. and i am being part of an ever dwindling minority-bachelors. I dunno why, but the very thought of it scares me - not the dwindling number of bachelors, but the thought of getting married. I dunno if it is abt the additional responsibility that comes along. I dunno if it is the insecurity of not being mature enough. I even dunno if it is thought of spending the rest of the life with one lady, that scares me.

I'd definitely want atleast another 3 or 4 years to get settled in my career. That means 28 or 29 would be the age when i would ideally even think considering it. Now that 3 or 4 years would fly by in the whip of an eyelash, i had seriously began thinking about what i wanna do with my life. And all that happened around me began to have serious impacts on my thought process. And all of them really making me ask myself whether i really wanted to get married. Honestly, at this point in life, if u'd ask me, i would probably say i am gonna stay a bachelor for life - a chronic bachelor! It might be seeing the failure in many such relations that influence my decision... or it might be because i am still not serious about life; and as mentioned above, mature enough to handle the nuances. Or, it might be because i am sure i cannot marry the one whom i would really have loved to.

I am hoping, as time goes by that something or someone would make me realize the truth. They might only show the way; i would have to walk it. I would have to make those decisions, and i sincerely hope my mind remains clear and focused.

Cheers!!!

Ramesh had just come from onsite and he had decided to throw us a party on Friday evening. Booze was a given, in such parties. But, it usually peaked only after the lady members had gone and we were left to our own affairs...This time though, it started off a bit early...

And people with drinks in their hands were mixing freely with others and dining. The drink of the night was a Smirnoff vodka that could very well be poured into a mineral water bottle and sold as such..Absolutely no color. This meant that when mixed with sprite or mirinda, no discoloration happened.

I was sitting at a table for six and had with me a few non-drinkers and a couple of drinkers. For a moment i left the table for a second helping. By the time i was back, there was a mix and match of my table mates and a couple of others had replaced the original guys. The beef fry that i took the second time was a lil spicy and i realized could do with some water. I immediately reached out to a full glass of mirinda standing on the table and gulped half of it. It was only when half the contents had gone down my oesophagus, that i realized that it was a drink.

Initially i did not realize anything outside the ordinary. I even chided the drinkers by asking if this was what they were drining; it did not even taste like anything. I started repenting 5 minutes later...my whole digestive system from tongue to large intesting was on fire...The spicy food added to the effect...I could literally feel burning on the insides...even a big glass of water failed to put out the flames...and then things started getting out of hand...I dont know from where i had that big urge to eat more....I had a sampling of almost everything that was laid out, and still wasnt finished. I even polished off two full bowls of fruit salad and ice cream.

All the while the only thought crossing my mind was if it was apparent to another person. I also had these fleeting thoughts of police catching me when i drove home. Fortunately for me, since the drink wasnt properly mixed, i got a large part of mirinda and only a small portion of the drink...and that probably prevented me from crashing out.

After the good byes were said, i drove home, all the while keeping within speed limits, and eagerly looking out for a police patrol. Eventually, with no mis-adventures, i reached home... The scene after i return from a late nite party is ridiculos, often bordering on the insane. Amma would give me a head to toe scan and look into my eyes for any indication of booze consumption...My eyes, after 8-10 hours in the office, and another 1-2 hours facing the blaring headlights, would already be blood-red. To add on to the effect, I would sport a swagger in my step and an incoherent speech...I loved to play this trick ony her. Her face would then register all the "navarasams" which is a treat to watch.
But this time around, i knew i would not have to put up too much of an act. Readying myself for all evenutalities, i stepped out after parking my car, only to learn to my huge relief, that she had slept off early on account of having a headache... Thank God, my first peg-adventure ended quite well. (of course my scale is a trifle different from other drinkers. A 10th of a peg for them is one peg for me...hope u catch the drift.)

Creating History

Tours, trips and team building activities are common place in any IT organization and ours was no different. But what made this one different was the way in which it culminated, and what it meant to me.
Vaazhvanthol is 40 kilometers from the city and boasts of some pictursque waterfalls, scenic fauna and serene climate, with a dash of forest environment thrown in. In short, for city dwellers, it was the ultimate getaway. The hotel, Rohini International, which arranged the trip was utmost hospitable..dont worry, this is not a sponsored ad...When i say they ver, i mean it in totality.
We started off at 8 am, reached the hotel by 9, had our breakfast and set off on the trek. It was a 4 kilometer trek through the wilderness, scaling some seemingly insurmountable rocks and cliffs...the destination, two waterfalls spat in the middle of the forest. After almost an hour of trekking, we reached the first of them...what amazed us all along the way was the crystal clear water...it outdid the mineral water we had in our bottles...all the 50 of us had quite a splash in the small dams of water created near the falls; and since rains stayed away, we had a jolly good time.
All of us then proceeded to the second one, which presumably was higher than the first and required some skill to scale. 20 mts later we reached the second one which was more majestic than the first. And only those who were supremely confident about their swimming skills ventured out for a splash...
The trek back took an hour and we arrived back where we started...the lunch was brought into the forest by the hotel...and it was a new experience...sitting besides a brook, enjoying the lavish breeze, washing our hands in the cold water...all gave us new thrills...
After lunch it was time for some team building...and what has me happy is that my team won...the activities were conducted very near to the dam catchment area. After the activity, every one had a chance to indulge in whatever they wanted to...some played football, some volleyball, some went river rafting and some played cards...

By about 7 we wound up, and came back to the hotel where every one refreshed themselves, caught a dash of the cricket match where SA had got a drubbing, and then proceeded to have dinner.

After dinner, it was time for some more enjoyment, and people who had some talents were invited to exhibit them... and then it happened! they announced my name and said i would sing a song...now if someone told me to give a speech, i would give 10...if someone told me to dance, i would; if mammootty can, why cant I? But if someone told me to sing, it would not be my cup of tea... not because i dont have a okay voice, but because i have that " what would other people feel" attittude... after a lot of persuasion, i sang "hume tumse pyaar kitna"..which is one of my all time favorites... as i finished it, i got a rousing ovation...it might probably have been because nobody thought i could even sing twinkle twinle let alone a ful fledged hind song...it might be because the rendition was good. But what it did, was give me a lot of confidence... it felt good that someone appreciated that you had some talent..

Ohh, and by the way, the lines "tumhe koi aur dekhe, tho jalthaa he dil" are my favorites... I relate to them very often...being a true Arien i guess... possessive !!!

Anyways, the next time i am offered a chance, I am not going to shy away. I know, all those who read this are thinking, "please tell me in advance, I'll make sure i stay away" .... :-)

And what history did i create? It was the first time in my life, that i sang infront of an audience..

Snip Snip Snap...Ouch !!

Friends often say god has been a little too generous on me...the reason? He gave me hair which doesnt need combing once i do the routine round in the morning. The "straight-haired" guys have to spend some time before the mirror, a few times every day, to sort out their "hairy-affairs"...I have been blessed with curly hair, which by their standards is the best one to have...Hmmphh...if they ever saw the time i spent every morning trying to get it in place, they would change their opinions...I probably spend more time than their combined times...
Ok, the story is not of the umpteen ways to comb the hair or to adorn it, but it is about the man who has the hard task of cutting my hair;my hair dresser. The place is called a "beauty parlor" though i doubt if anyone comes there for that.
So, the subject in question is a staunch communist...and since i am one of the few people who frequent the shop, am subjected to a barrage of his yester year exploits...and of course like all communists, those stories get the blood boiling in him....sadly for me, he decides to take it out on my poor hair...all the while i have to produce approving sounds like Hmmm...Yaa...Ok.. etc... I cannot afford to nod, lest he cut off my head. When i sit on the chair, my only prayer is, god dont let his hands slip...
Last day it was the same again...after having sat down (read said my prayers)...he started off on his monologue...this time it was about the general strike we had...he recounted his childhood experiences...he said he used to go for all strikes sponsored by the left...
i asked "havent you ever got arrested then?"he had a sheepish look on his face...I thought that might be to say, oh yes, I have...But, He said..."no...never"For the first time ever, i was interested...after all, a police story excites anyone... "not even a single time? so u mean these were not agitations? only peaceful protests?""no..not that; as soon as the police come, i run off from the scene...you know i go to those protests without my family knowing...and if i end up in a police station, they might have to come to bail me out...there is a friend of mine who comes with me for these strikes...as soon as we see the police we scoot"...I was laughing from head to toe...but couldnt show it on my face...lest he be offended and decide to take it out on my..yes thats rite... on my poor hair...he was silent for the most part thereafter...the only questions he asked me were "right side ok?"" do u want to use a hair dryer"?
And as i stepped off the chair, i saw his face, a lil cloudy a lil downcast and blood-drained ...I had perhaps hurt a staunch communist... he might have probably been lamenting the fact that he did not get arrested even once... I felt sorry for him...
It might have something to do with the "ambitions" i remarked upon in an earlier post...any ideologist communist's greatest honor would be when he participated in a mass movement and got arrested for the same...it is a story that he could share with generations to come....and my poor communist friend here was probably shattered by the fact that one of his customers did not buy his story and probably saw him as a failure on that count....
Do we see people like this in our day to day life? People who have not been able to achieve their dreams, and know that they might never achieve it? How do they react when put in such situations? Does the IT industry have a lot of analogous situations?
As i think of going back the next time, i am worried if he would have that it mind...I would be surprised if he doesnt, considering the very few people who ever turn up there...and god bless my poor hair...but of course, as my friends say, it has already been blessed!! AMEN

*** F.R.I.E.N.D O.N.E ***

"Hey, wait"
I turned back and there he was walking towards me ...I knew he was in my class, but not his name...after all it was only two days into my first semester of engineering and i did not even know the name of the guys sitting on the bench next to mine. It was already 8.45 and in those initial ays, one did not want to be late to college.

By the time these thoughts transpired, he was beside me...
"Hi, this is Arun. You are in EC arent you?"
"Yes..this is aravind"
"Ok...mind if you accompany me to the vikasbhavan bus depot? I have to submit my concession form"
"Ahh well...ok" I knew I wasnt going to like this guy; he was making me late for college.

Little did i know what lay ahead.

That was how i met Arun, one of my closest friends til date. Our friendship has had testing times, trials and tribulations....but it has survived and flourished to this date...

During our first year, we used to go to his house for combined study. All those visits are still fresh in my mind...the first time all the more so... Since it was the first visit, I did not know his parents or his family, and had to be sure i'd impress them. As soon as i reached his house, i took out the assignment sheets, and books and started jotting down. The reaction on his parents face was one of absolute bewilderment. They looked at me like someone from outer space. I guessed i was not studious enough, and increased my pace. At this point they said, "hey aravind..stop..have some juice...relax for some time and then start"

I then realized that in my eagerness to impress, i'd just made a fool out of myself...and both of them have remained as unassuming as i saw them on that day. Be it coming to college on an arts festival day and making a fool out of subru or be it throwing crackers on rekha (arun's sis) during diwali.

As time went by, we (a lot of other close friends as well) got together a lot more to do "combined study"....whereas in reality we sat late into the night playing computer games, or joking; but the majority of the time was spent on gossipping...I know you wouldnt believe it, but we had a great time at that...we analysed relations, people, happenings in college, politics, movies; almost everything under the sun. Late into the night, we would take up whatever vehicles were at hand and would go to a thattukkada at poojappura and have thattu dosa....those times were magical...

I dont remember the exact semeseter, but at one point of time, he began to see less of us...he had an affair... He had to spent more time with her...And at that point of time, I started hating lovers...and the DCH dialogue suddenly pops up in mind..."When you are in love, you dont have time for your friends, you only have time for each other"....Anyways, the relation progressed well. Our close group of friends knew from day one that it was not going to end well. His parents would never agree to such a kind of a relation, and he was so attached to them that he would not go against their words...But then when was falling in love rational; when was it based on logic?

we still had the combined studies,outings and fun going on, but the magic was missing...After college, he got into a good B-school and left to do his MBA...after which he got placed in one of the best IT corps of India...and continues to work out of hyderabad....

And yes, his love got married. He was devastated...I could tell that from his eyes. He had tried in vain to get consent from his parents. For quite some time, he tried to put on a facade, but then we friends know better. It is on that sole point that we still disagree. He shud have never attempted something he knew would never happen...

Inspite of all this, he remains one of my closest friends....

*** F.R.I.E.N.D T.W.O ***

Unlike Arun, i donot quite remember when and how i met Balaji....but today he is on the same circumference of close friends as Arun is...

The best thing with this guy is his honesty....if you are wrong, he would tell you so. You want a fair opinion, you go to him. And if you want to know which mallu films are hits, how many are coming up and whos acting, you go to him...he is a walking wiki on movies.

We've had quite a few tussles, especially after the all india tour, of which i have written before. And interestingly, he now shares accomodation with a person with whom he had the worst fight..and they are best friends now...He has turned Professional as well I guess
Between us, we had told Arun about the problems his love affair might throw up, but...Anyways, all that is past and now we all live in different cities, separated by physical distance, but united and close by the bond of friendship which holds us dear.

*** F.R.I.E.N.D T.H.R.E.E ***

Unlike Arun or Balaji, Manu was not in the same class as mine, for the first year. It was only when the third semester started that we came to know each other up close.
I had heard quite a stories of him being the chocolate boy of his class, with quite a few gals going gaga over him...of course that was to be expected; he was handsome. But the sad part is that girls have always given him misery.

He was head over heels in love with a muslim girl in our class. The feeling was reciprocated to quite a large extent. We always thought that would culimnate in marriage, but that was not to be. During the next semester itself, she fell in love to another classmate, having given manu the reason that he was not mature or bold enough. He brooded over her for long...and finally gave up on her...They are best friends now...

Once into his final days at college, he was introduced to a girl from a different college through a mutual friend. Naturally, he again fell in love...we warned him well and good. The girl's character was a touch doubtful, and we were pretty sure she considered him a pasttime. Initially the relationship went against what we speculated. It seemed all would en well, but it was not to be. He asked his parents to talk to her parents, but things turned all the wrong way and it ended up pretty badly....
To put it in short, he has a devastated love life...and I only hope the next one he finds doesnt live him dead....

" Tell me about yourself "

I've had some wonderful opporunities to meet people sitting on either sides of an interview. A few anecdotes which really leave behind some traces in the mind-

1. When I was interviewed - Final HR interview at UST

Murali and Kishore were seated across the table, busy typing away on their laptops.

Murali - "Ok Aravind, tell me about your college."

I started talking abt my college, and they kept "Hmm" ing in between.

Midway they stopped me and asked - "Hmm, so calligraphy is a hobby for you".

"Yes, it is"

"Good, so do you believe that people with a good personality have a good handwriting?"

"Yes I do"

"Interesting...why do you say that?"

"Because I have a good handwriting and a good personality"

"Hahaha..great" {I to this day dont know if it was sarcasm or just my cheeky answer that made them laugh}

Murali immediately took up a piece of paper and scirbbled something on it (utterly illegible) and said...

"There..take a look at that. Do you think you can read that? No right? So any change in opinion?"

"Wow..thats great...It now confirms the fact that every truth on this world can have an exception"

"Hahahaha...Ok Aravind. thanks for your time"

I knew my last answer got me the job

2. When I interviewed

There was this guy in hyderabad. Anything you ask him, he just had a smile on his face. 5 minutes , all smiles and no answers, and i was done. I politely asked him to leave. At that point he asked me to tell him the answers to the questions i asked him. I patiently did so, during the course of which, i saw his eyes getting moist. I knew he was a lil daft in the upper storey...at the end of my explanation he said.."Sir, I have attended a lot of interviews, but till today, no one has ever explained the answers"....I guess he had made it a hobby of attending interviews and giving the interviewers just a smile

3. Telephonic...

After the initial exchange of pleasantries, i started asking him questions...answers not satisfactory...until when i asked him a question and he replied with "Please give me four options" I guess he is brought upon a lot of KBC...

Ambitions

What drives men?

Dreams? Ambitions?

I've wondered recently as to what different people dream to be.

What does a thattukkadakkaran want to be? A hotelier?

What does a taxi driver want to be? A pilot?

What about a rag picker? {I dont know, my imagination cant run that wild}

But then, is he still a rag picker because he did not dream enough? Or does he not dream because he is a rag picker? Is it a vicious circle?

Probably not...lots of people who made it big in this world started off pretty low in society...it because they dreamt big that they are here. But dreaming is not enough. The passion with which you strive to achieve them is important I guess. The stories of the Ambanis, the Birlas and the Gates' of this world are inspiring...humble starters, but look where they are now.

At this point, I am thinking about my previous post where i ranted about the moolah. Am i contradicting myself here? No. It is just that i was talking about dreams and ambitions, and for all of these people, making it big, meant money. So, in a way, it augments my thoughts...nowadays, people think only about money.

But you be damn sure, if you have an ambition and the passion to achieve it, you sure shall.

Emotional Vs Professional

Growing up in this industry has its own troughs and crests.

On the one hand, u make a lot of money, u have a great lifestyle and the adrenalin rush it brings is quite enjoyable.

On the other hand, you grow more and more machine like...devoid of human emotions like sorrow, anger, and for that matter, not even love or hatred. You become PROFESSIONAL. You cannot afford to be angry at someone for not doing something u wanted him to. You cannot be sad that your manager is not happy with you. Whatever the case may be, you put on a smiling face and accept it...and all of tht gets pent up within ourselves; unkowingly we might release everything upon our families...they often suffer the brunt of our frustrations.

English films like terminator have portrayed a tomorrow which would see machines thinking like humans. My take on this is different; tomorrow we might see men thinking like machines...and the start of that is here for all to see. We stop laughing at jokes, at small moments of happiness; we stop crying when something goes wrong. We are forgetting to be emotional. The world has put on a facade.

IT majors keep speaking about values and culture being the foundation of their businesses, but fundamentally, isnt everything about money? And time? I believe the very axes on which the world used to revolve are changed as well..they are no longer X and Y, they are Time and Money.

Hey NEO, is the matrix still there? Morpheus, where are my pills???

3 point something

Three years gone by on the 3rd of November, and i still dont know where I am headed in my career. I had always wanted to quit at the end of three years in IT, do my MBA and take on from there. The industry is hyper-dynamic, but i never dreamt my life would be one as well. Suddenly I am burdened with the task of making money. And, an onsite opportunity is my only way out. I am torn between emotions...Should i go, leaving behind all i cherish; leaving behind what motivated me; and embrace an option that is at loggerheads with where i want my career to head? I guess i must make that difficult choice. At this point, I must think about my family, and not about myself. It is pay-back time...not that they have asked for it, but just that i realize it...

I cannot now afford to play for time...the game has just started...and god give me the strength to see it thru

2006 A Love Story

She was tall, lanky and beautiful. She had a love life. She had a relation going with a guy, right from college. It was pretty strong until distance separated them. The guy fell out of love, but she did not. She still loved the guy in a way that only women can. The guy made it a habit of constantly abusing her psychologically. And one day said, he's calling it off. She walked in pain for a month. It was not quite evident on her face, but her eyes showed the sorrow deep within.

He was her closest friend at the work place. He had no love life. He just cared for her as a friend. They had lunch together, had coffee together and sat very much near each other. When her relationship with the guy broke up, he was there to console her, pacify her and bring her back to normal. And it was only a natural progression that he fell deep in love with her. Days passed as he watched his passion grow, but he did not have the courage to tell her, lest it break her heart.

Finally, one day over lunch, he told her. As with all women, she took it lightly. She brushed it aside as a joke, as a past-time. But then she realized that he was serious. She is now in a state of confusion. She shares all secrets with her mother. She shared this too, but it did not quite elicit a positive response. She is undecided and has asked him to give her more time to decide.

And then, she asked me. Where do i come in? I am a very close friend of both these people. He has not told me till date that he proposed, but she did. Thats when she asked me what my opinion was. I just smiled. For, I knew, her mind had already given her the answer. As they say, "The Oracle has sopken". If she was not genuinely interested, would she ask him more time for an answer? Wouldnt she she have said no at the outset? Would she fear her mothers reaction? Would she say "I dont know" when i asked her how she felt? I did not give her all the reasons. I just smiled and let her know that "your mind has decided. no matter what i say, it wont influence your decision", and left it at that.

Have i been reading a lot of Sherlock Holmes; have i understood the mind of a lady well enough? Or is it a totally absurd claim? Will no man ever be able to understand a woman? You decide.

Now, how is this going to affect me? Hmmm, dont get the wrong ideas, I wasnt in love with her, but she was a very dear friend. One with whom I often shared a cup of coffee and my many thoughts. Whatever be her reply, I am going to loose a dear friend. If she says yes, I will loose her and the occassional cup of coffee. If she says no, he will get the idea that I persuaded her, and i loose him. Either way, the situation seems to unfold into a double edged sword. And i am worried. This week, one of my dearest friends is gonna go away for a long time. I cannot afford to loose one more.

What shall i do...

Thats how it all started

(--= This is a three part blog. Please read "The Second Month" and "The Last Days" which follow this post =--)

Life has given me some unforgettable memories..some pleasant, some not so. On this occasion I wish to recount one which transformed me...ofcoz this is not about a rendezvous with the spirits, nor is it about a meeting with a living GOD, but is about my training days at Turbo Plus (hereafter referred to as T+), when I was transformed from a greenhorn to a professional...hehe....built up all the hype and let u down aint I??

Those of you who are not pissed off, continue...
Turbo plus is the training center of UST...oh, and btw, UST is where I work. Even before joining, I had heard a lot about its tough schedules...But I was never prepared enough for what lay ahead.

My first days - I remember vividly my first day. I had put on my best blue and had planned on reaching T+ well before 9am. Luck had it that I got an autorikshaw late, and that guy did not know the exact location. He left me half a km adrift of the actual place. Thus I had it that I had to run all my way to the place, with my formal attire not helping things in the least. By the time I reached T+, it was just about 9. I had the good fortune of having friends in the batch, and so did not feel out of place. We all were bundled into a room. 37 nervous wrecks sat there awaiting further instructions. At this point, the team from UST piled in. Niketh was there, along with Viju and Asha. Pleasantries exchanged, welcome extended and they were gone. A very fair lady then stepped into the room and asked us to get the stuff ready. Never realized at that point that, Bindu chechi, as she became later known to us, would play an important part in that transformation. But more on that later, coz I was at that time frantically searching for my passport-size photographs. I searched in vain, only to realize that I might have left it at home...When it was my chance, I gave her my best sheepish smile..she had seen a lot of such cases I presume; she simply said, ok bring it tomorrow...Gawd..Wasnt I relieved...Once it was all done, it was time for some other faculty from T+ to give a lecture...and my o my....a lecture it was...and that was when I first heard of "push technology". Sanu did really have a talent for that...he said, he was always shy of public speaking, but he overcame it by constant practice. one always wondered if he ever did. But then, like Bindu chechi, he too was to become part of ..yea..u guessed it...transforming...

Our first introduction to Rajagopal sir took place the next day. Confidence oozing from every pore, he amazed us with his ability to teach. I learnt that day that learning to code was going to be interesting...To this day, I cannot pass a day without wondering about the role he had in shaping us for the inevitable. He was such an amazing man, that everyone respected and loved him. He taught us only C, C++, Java...but in teaching them, he also taught us what passion could do...

The first month was a real eye opener for us...Drooling in the comfort of having got a job, we were thrown against the harsh reality of actually having to pass the training before we could join...It was as if a time bomb was ticking and we were sitting on top of it, hoping the fuse would be pulled out before it reached the end. Being from a non-IT background, a lot of us found the going really tough...It was only the strength of our relationships that helped us see through these tough times..and in hindsight, it was good that the situation was really tough, coz it gave us the chance to foster some relationships which continue to this day. And so one month later, we had learnt a great deal, and failed in almost all exams...and hence were all far off from the 70% that was needed to see us in UST.

But one month later, we had certainly progressed in our lives. More wonderful friendships, more angles of looking at things, more professional..hmmm yes, the transformation had started...as we progressed into the second month, it was time for retrospection...of putting in more to get to that magic figure of 70%, of finding out where we went wrong and putting things right..

The Second Month

Things were getting too hot to handle...We wouldn’t even have finished one lab when the next theory would have started, and a test would be due. It was getting on my nerves...my score was still not too good...It was when I had serious apprehensions about my ability to cope. Many nights (whenever I got some time to sleep) I would lay awake thinking about this...finally one day it caught up with me...and I broke down...I was sure I could not take any more...But I could of course never show this to anyone else...coz everyone had a totally different concept about me...I was the one who always egged my friends not to get disappointed with the low scores, and here I was breaking down and sobbing...Fortunately, I had the chance to interact with a batchmates husband who had been through the same training. He told me, he had not done too good either initially, but had then gone on to score the requisite marks...we spoke for quite some time that day...and I found my confidence seeping back right in. I always associate that night as one of re-birth...coz I had pretty much given up on myself...
And then started a struggle, in a way I never had before in life...friends got together and did combined studies...people who were good were roped in to take classes again...and then I started appearing for tests with much more confidence...and the results obviously showed...my overall score slowly eked its way up from the low 40s to the high 50s and then broke into the 60s...and I was happy....
We also went on a memorable trip to palaruvi and kuttraalam and also to the beach where munnampakkam was shot...Everyone enjoyed, as it was a much need break from the stress...and as with every tour, this helped us cement those relationships...
This was the month of December and T+ also had Christmas celebrations...and the occasion was made memorable by selection of Christmas friends a week in advance....of course, no one else knew who your friend was....ad u ver supposed to give ur friend a clue everyday and on Christmas eve u had to guess who your friend was...that was way too fun....but the fun was yet to come...and that was new year's eve...Our batch had planned a lot of programs, in which the most anticipated one was the ottamthullal...conceived by one of my best buddies Manu, and orchestrated by another, Sudeep, along with yours truly, it was a runaway success...the story revolved around a guy who joins turbo plus with immense expectations, who then comes to face the realities, and then finally strives very hard to score all the requisite marks...in short, our story....even Rajagopal sir gave a standing ovation when it finished...we topped it off with an introduction of ourselves...it went..."conceived by Manu, not even nearing 70%, sung by Sudeep, not even 60% and Aravind...nearing 70% but not there yet"....and then we in unison cried out loud...."Saaaaaaaaaaar, please make it 70%"....Needles to say we were heroes for a week....

December was drawing to a close and we had mastered almost every basic concept...everything was within our reach, except for the marks...as the final exams drew close, I was at 67% and confident of clearing, by giving a good performance for the final project evaluation and lab exams...And hence came in January...and our final moments at Turbo plus...