Silver Jubilee and Beyond

2007 is special for the world. It will be a quarter of a century since it was blessed with me. But the same cannot be said for myself. This year brings with it the harsh reality that i might have only as much more time left in this world. No fantasies, no hopes for a longer life. This profession might leave us dead in 10 years time, so why think about even another 25. The next reason is more dreadful and is the topic of this post.

Marriage...Hmm... that sacred institution called marriage. Friends, classmates abd batchmates seems to be marrying off rapidly.. and i am being part of an ever dwindling minority-bachelors. I dunno why, but the very thought of it scares me - not the dwindling number of bachelors, but the thought of getting married. I dunno if it is abt the additional responsibility that comes along. I dunno if it is the insecurity of not being mature enough. I even dunno if it is thought of spending the rest of the life with one lady, that scares me.

I'd definitely want atleast another 3 or 4 years to get settled in my career. That means 28 or 29 would be the age when i would ideally even think considering it. Now that 3 or 4 years would fly by in the whip of an eyelash, i had seriously began thinking about what i wanna do with my life. And all that happened around me began to have serious impacts on my thought process. And all of them really making me ask myself whether i really wanted to get married. Honestly, at this point in life, if u'd ask me, i would probably say i am gonna stay a bachelor for life - a chronic bachelor! It might be seeing the failure in many such relations that influence my decision... or it might be because i am still not serious about life; and as mentioned above, mature enough to handle the nuances. Or, it might be because i am sure i cannot marry the one whom i would really have loved to.

I am hoping, as time goes by that something or someone would make me realize the truth. They might only show the way; i would have to walk it. I would have to make those decisions, and i sincerely hope my mind remains clear and focused.