A new experimentation

[Editing this post as per a comment]:
PEOPLE, this post is a song which I recorded in my own voice; the voice has not been loaned from anyone... Also, if you dont see a BOOMP3 player underneath these lines, there is some issue.. lemme know !!

ALSO, just like my blogs, I sang because I love to sing... and not because I want you to hear !! [I always keep saying that... dunno why I still keep posting on the net, though... Oof.. talk about MPD!!]

Just an experimentation... Please forgive the spikes...

boomp3.com

The charge of the juice brigade

A favorite drink at home

Seagull in SFO

This is one of my favorites... I rapidly fired shots when he was circling around; fortunately, I got one in which he struck a majestic pose.

Taken when I was on a boat ride in SFO... very near the Golden gate bridge.

Rubik's Shadow

I recently purchased a Canon S3 IS and have started venturing into the awesome world of photography. I'm just a novice just learning to play around with my camera; I'll keep uploading some of my favorite ones...

This one is of a famed Rubik's cube which I placed on the carpet at a place where there was sunlight filtering in...

Aftershocks of a loan payment

Coming onsite has its own perks; money of course. Within 2 months of me being here, I sent home enough money to finish off my car loan; finally I could say that the car was my own. I was also happy at having dealt with a big burden of more than three years.

But of course, my mum had different plans. As soon as the car loan was finished she was already sending me links to house plots, flats and apartments that were on sale. When we chat, she’ll also tell me the various plot for sale ads in the manorama newspaper. The conversations always followed the same pattern - she was eager to get me to agree on something and start initiating a house loan; me on the other hand downplaying anything she came up with. Some excerpts:

Amma : Da, 10 cents land near nedumbaassery
Me : Just 10? Would’ve been good had it been more.
Amma : I’m not kidding.
Me : Neither am I; there’s a shortage of 10 lacs with me. Will get that in a while; then we can try if we get the nedumbassery airport land also.
Amma : Grrr… Ok, then we can look something near the kaloor stadium.
Me : Perfect; we can then buy the ground also. Long time since I played cricket.
Amma : Ok, fine… I get the idea; then can we look something in Trivandrum?
Me : Sure, why not? I think we should buy a piece of land in every district of kerala. That way we’d be able to counter any price variations across places. Also, it’d help me get settled in any place which might have a probable IT boom. Esp in Idukki - near the dam would be a great place. If we run out of water, we could go to the reservoir and have bath.
Amma : [By this time she’s really getting worked up… she gives me a rendition of some choice words] Ok, do whatever you wish. Don’t later fret that we did not tell you.

Even though I get into this rigmarole primarily to get her worked up, there’s more to it. Buying a piece of land is, to me, akin to getting ready to settle down. Gosh… even the thought drives me crazy; deciding on a place where I want to spend the rest of my life; where to build a home, to come back after work, lie down, close my eyes, and feel contend. I have never planned my life that much ahead; but my mother reminds me everyday of how old I am getting, and the need to do so. I should get some consultancy company to do some work on “The 10 best places to settle down”.

Inspiron

Niche. I remember Geetha madam teaching this to us in her biology classes - something to do with animals finding a unique place in an ecosystem. As the IT sector peaked up, and MBAs spewed up jargons one after the other, niche also found its way into common use…
But what I’m writing about has nothing to do with the new IT definition of niche - I’m going to blabber about a laptop. I’m sure you fail to see the relation; three months before I’d be along with you, but today I’m a changed man.

When I came to the US, I accommodated myself in a 2BHK house with 4 guys; all of them had a personal laptop. Fortunately for me, there was an additional one which was provided to one of the guys for official purposes. I’m basically an outrageously social animal, and for the initial week I couldn’t even imagine how people could spend all their time glued to the front of their laptops. I’d have preferred a game of cards involving everyone; a discussion involving everyone; watching a movie along with everyone - you get the idea… Even though we came from different places and would go away to different places, it’d be better if the time we spent together could be spent as a family. Well, I’m not getting too emotional, but you know, that would have been nice.

Instead, what I see is oodles of time spent in front of the laptop; atrocious!! This prompted me to think about what might be driving this. I then realized it; and it was so plain obvious. Even while all of us thrived under the same roof, and we tried to have a family atmosphere, the laptop was an outlet to their individuality. It was their wife, their brother, their mother; in short it was family. It was the entrance to the internet which would connect them to their loved ones; it was the window through which they satisfied almost every urge. It was their niche, their own place to be, in this "hostel" - somewhere they could let out their emotions, imbibe the emotions from the outer world, and yet show it to no one...the next best friend to man himself (long gone are the times when that description suited a dog; a laptop now rightfully earns that adjective.)

When I had this BIG realization, the natural step for me was to get one on my own. Guess what - I started spending more time on my laptop than the others on theirs… But we still have a happy family in our home.

Oh, BTW, this is titled Inspiron because thats the name of my laptop model. In a way it applies to what it does - it inspires....

From the land of Howzzitgoooin

One month in the US...and one of the first questions I often get is - Missing Home? A decent yes would satisfy most people. But that would be far from the truth. For one, Seattle is a beautiful place, reminding one of a scenic village in Alleppy or the north of Kerala. To add on, 25 friends, all of whom I know personally, from offshore. So no, I say, I'm enjoying.

And yes, now for the flashback... I reached the US of A on the 4th of September; I was supposed to reach a day in advance, but our Indian flights as usual delayed people by a day. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I reached Seattle one day late, albeit, in one piece.

I opened a bank account, applied and received my SSN and started off on my daily routine of work. So far ever day has been learning new things; the American way of things.

As i get accustomed to the way of life here, some things jump straight out, some ironies that cannot get unnoticed. They have their own set of standards for everything. Forget MKS standards, forget what they world follows, here things are done differently. Now, I don’t say that is good or bad, this is just a "middle of the road" observation. Let me quote a few examples: petrol is called gasoline. Traffic is on the right side. People haven’t heard of the Degree Celsius. Speed to them is in miles ph. The monetary system is not far behind. There’s the dime, penny, quarter, nickel and then the regular denominations follow.

Ironies apart, I am amazed at the way things happen here. If a bus is supposed to come at 8.27, you can be sure it would be there. The traffic system, the airports, the public administration - everything is so well greased and in place. Everything works like clockwork.

Now, being in an alien land for the first time can give u moments that you can think about later and laugh. Like when a friend goes to a restaurant and says I want to go, and you wonder why they need to go to a hotel and say they want to go.( I learnt later that To Go means a "parcel" back home). And another time when after you have finished lunch they waiter comes and asks you if you need it wrapped up and you say yes thinking that they meant cleaning up and in another 5 minutes they return with a packet with the food that you wanted wrapped up - even if it contains chewed up pieces of chicken bone that you placed at the side. But my favorite times are when I order something on the menu imagining it to be of some shape and form which in reality turns out to always the opposite.

I know you have noticed that most of my faux pas have been in restaurants. Of course, when you are here to sample everything they offer, this is a good place, aint it? Ok, so here are a few things, which are out of the restaurant. In office, people don’t have any qualms about using the restroom for the "second" type of relieving. And insanely enough, those rooms are not fully enclosed and not "sound proof". So, when you go for the "normal" relieving, it is not unusual that you are greeted by sounds of "crackers" and smells reminding you of garbage. One time, while I was there, I let out a cough almost coinciding with a sound burst from the other room. The guy in there, god knows who, thinking that I was reacting to that, muttered a big sorry. I was too embarrassed to stay, and ran all the way back to my seat. Phew!! Its a funny place, the US of A.

oh, and by the way, I went to San Francisco over the last weekend and experienced a "city". Seattle, I came to realize, is a far greener and better place to be when compared to SanFran. Autumn is in, and it is always good to be in a place where there are lots of trees. The panorama that is accorded is breathtaking to say the least. And by the looks of it, old timers say, there might be snow this time around too. I dunno if I'd be around to see it, but that would be the icing on the cake, if it were to happen.

I'll be back with more tid-bits; until then, Au revoir.

Untitled

“How many ?”
“3, what about you?”
“4. “

No, this is not the number of times they watched Sivaji; nor is it the number of wheels on their vehicle of choice.
It is, sadly the number of placement offers engineering graduates get these days. If you don’t have atleast three, you are not 'good enough' these days. Of course no prizes for guessing what happens to the rest of the 2. Flushed down the drain. Little do they realize what the effects are.

In this process of "de-selection", these graduates are hurting the corporates, their college, their friends, and believe it or not, themselves. Let me dwell upon each of these.

Corporates getting affected is obvious. They spend lots of money in sending a panel down; the people spend 1-2 days at the venue, make offers to whosoever qualifies. Finally, very few people actually join. Let me quote some figures here. Assuming you have a panel of 5, working for two days; resulting in 80 man hours (assuming 8 hours a day - though in reality it’s much much more). Lets multiply it by the offshore billing rate of a developer - which could be 20$/Hr. 1600$ - Rs. 64k. This is just the cost of the people. To and fro flight tickets - assuming 3000Rs/head one way - Rs 30k. Stay in a five star hotel - Rs 20k. So they spend more than 1 lac for two days; and let me again take a recent example; Accenture came to our college; I heard that about 10 of those selected are people who don’t already have offers. Which means, there is a chance they would atleast turn up. So the hit ratio is just 30%. Spare a thought for the recruitment team, whose appraisal is dependent on these numbers - they are way off their targets. No wonder corporates are now spending more time on this process. But of course, who cares! Corporates? Bah; they have loads of money. What is a lac to them?

College? Definitely yes. From the above it is clear the corporates are taking statistics seriously. They have now started keeping track of the conversion ratio for each of the colleges they visit. And if it goes below a certain rate, the college could well rule out a subsequent visit by the corporate. Of course, who cares? It is for the next batch right? I won’t have to suffer!

Your friends! I guess this is another quite obvious thing. Remember that the corporates wouldn’t usually be having a fixed number in their mind. The cut offs for their tests would be floating; which would mean, if a certain % of people don’t clear the initial cut off they had in mind, they would lower it. I have been on enough recruitment drives to know this for a certainty. But what are those guys who have already cleared test doing? They are very clearly setting the bar higher and virtually ruling out a chance for their unlucky friends who couldn’t get an offer as yet! One thing to note is that the companies which come in at later stages understand that other corporates have already visited the campus, and hence would expect a lesser standard of performance. Hence, if these people sit out, they are virtually guaranteeing their friends a job. But of course, who cares! I wanna show I'm capable of more!

But what they don’t realize is one thing - that attending many such drives, landing offers would one day land them in the soup as well. I've mentioned on how corporates are tracking conversion ratios w.r.t colleges; with advanced ERP packages on offer, corporates have now begun to keep track of people who have spurned their offers. It is being vehemently practiced for lateral recruits. That is now getting extended to the freshers as well. So, in future if you want to join a company which you rejected as a fresher, chances are they'd turn the tables on you.
Moreover, it reflects on your ability to make and back up a decision. With there being an abundance of opportunities, all freshers have an opportunity of virtually choosing which firm they want to join. My opinion is for all to exercise this option judiciously; atleast that is an ideal way to start off your career. You have made a strong decision; you are backing you decision; you are giving your friends a chance; you are giving something back to the college; and you are not harming the corporates either. C'mon its time to show some spine!

The Team

Pingg... the card swiper buzzed. I'm probably signing out for the last time as a developer for the International account. A little more than three years.. Three years of building a career, three years of building friendships and relations... And now things are going to change. Time of beckoning is here. The US of A beckons...

I wish to dedicate this post to my team mates who have helped me become what I am.

Mar 15 , 2004
I joined UST as a fresher. With expectations galore of making a career. Of making a name; of making the moolah. The initial days were spent on trainings. By the end of the month I was allocated to a team which was servicing one of the biggest names in the Finance domain. I was there for about three months before I had the chance to move on.

July 15 , 2004
My story begins on this day. The day I was allocated to International. I was put in a team which was developing an internal tool for account management activities. I put in my best efforts on this project, and was recognized for my contributions by making me billable. "Billable" was a big thing for any fresher. It meant that the company was starting to gain from your work, and the client was going to pay for it.

Aug 17 , 2004
I started my first project as a billable resource. I had the satisfaction of having turned billable within a month of being in the account. Manoj was leading the two member team, and the team being just two in size put a lot of stress on me. I had to work on technologies I had no first hand experience with. The quality could not be compromised; neither could the schedule, since it was directly going to the client. Looking back, I believe that whatever I could achieve was due to the fact that I learnt to face pressure right from the start of my career; and believe me it was one heck of pressure. It meant spending virtually 12+ hours in office. It meant being scolded for producing shoddy work. It meant missing parties; it meant lesser time for friends. Fortunately for me, the team was simply superb. There would always be someone who could spot if you were in trouble and then come forward to help you. I always wonder where I would have ended up if not for such a team.

Sep 15 , 2004
My confirmation happened. This was the first appraisal of my career, and I felt good about having really done something and having made a good start to my career. If only I knew what lay ahead.

Oct 2 , 2004
The first project was successfully moved to production on this day. Manoj moved to another project, and I was asked to take over another project, which was an extension of the first one; only that it was being done in .net, which was something I'd been trained on. And so there it was! I was technically a project lead in 6 months. Of course, of a single member team (a fact that I conveniently "forget"). It was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I realized that being solely responsible for a project was not something easy to be doing. You could always rely on other members in the account, but finally it was your project and anything going out of control would be deemed a failure. Survive or Perish. For more than a year I handled this project. In between, there were two freshers allocated to the project, and I could say that added on the pressure. I had to do my work; in addition, I had to give them work, review it and also mentor them. Often I ended up wishing there were more than 24 hours a day. This hectic a schedule meant that I missed the Foundation week celebrations. I had to sit back in office and finish something urgently required for the client. I remember walking down the corridors and seeing no one there; feeling terribly let down. There were numerous such times when I would hit an ultimate low; but the only thing that kept me going is the urge to achieve something and to make a worthwhile career. Nowadays I see freshers wilting under even sublime amounts of pressure and I wonder at their attitude. Or is it that we are faltering in our recruitment strategies?

Mar 15, 2005 - appraisal
In March, my first real appraisal happened (the first one was only for conformation; from this time on, there would be different band based on performance..) All the while I'd believed that I'd done pretty well to be slotted in the top band, but when the letters were rolled out, I was shocked to find only a B grade. That destroyed me. I couldn’t believe that I was not being recognized for the work I had done. I ended up sending "senti" mails to my manager and the HR folks, who said they would try for an up-gradation. But by then, I'd come to believe that if my manager did not feel so, then there was no point in arguing. Also, I knew that it wasn’t sufficient to do the good work, it was also necessary to do good work and let your manager know about it. Seemed like blowing your own trumpets, but that is the way the industry is. Right then I decided that I wouldn’t work for anything less than an A band; and from that day on till now, I haven’t failed to keep my word to myself.

Nov 30, 2005
I finally ended the 1+ year long project. The biggest take always from this one was the ways of dealing with pressure and the process awareness I created leading the team. In December I started out with another project, but this time with two other seniors - and fortunately, there was lesser pressure. Ramesh was leading the team, and Varma was also there. The schedule was pretty much relaxed and I remember going to Veg World every evening, with Nattu and Ramesh - primarily to watch the TCS girls who would swarm the place by 7pm.

Mar 01, 2006
Once that project was completed, I moved on to one of the most challenging assignments of my career. Vipul Shah was a name everyone in my account fears. He is one of the toughest task masters with International. He was known for his ruthless criticism of any work we do. His project needed a person, and very few were willing to move in. I was kind of forced to move in. Initially, it was very tough. I understood why he was so deeply feared. He would ask a question on the name of a variable in a program; he wasn’t willing to accept anything but the highest standards and quality. Gradually, I got into the groove. The 1 year I spent on the project taught me things which I could never have learnt had I been elsewhere. Vipul also constantly talked to us in business terms, which made us understand the nuances of the business very well. All this augmented my knowledge to new heights. This one year was ht most rewarding phase of my career.

June 29th 2007
The friday that will be another date etched in my mind. A plethora of feelings, a flood of emotions as I walked out of the door. Lots of memories I have omitted from here; a vast majority being personal. These 3 years have given me some unforgettable memories; friends for a life time, hope, love and also despair. Life here has taught me to get up when I fall, to hope and risk, and to live it to the fullest. I will miss the raucous laughter, the birthday parties, the team meetings and the "California" tea; but life must go on. I am praying it goes one full circle.

Inertia

Social inertia is a term that applies the concept of inertia to psychology and sociology. It is used to describe the resistance to change presented by societies or social groups, usually due to habit. An example of social inertia can be noticed in United States nonconformity with the SI standard units.
This is a term I've heard over the years, particularly being applied to me. The reason - my unwillingness to look for a change of jobs even after 4 years of being in one organization. I'd never given thought to the word as such, but these days when a change is on the cards, I thought why not look up what gives to Inertia in the corporate world.

Unlike my other posts, I had to do quite some amount of research to pen this one. And I am sure, it wouldn't be too exciting a read considering such bland topics; but I realize that I must learn to write stuff on such matter if i gotta change. And hence, an article against change, for a change. Now that I have laid out in simple terms what this is all about [;-)], lets start.

Inertia in itself is a paradigm by which people tend to restrict and resist changes. We are too comfortable with whats happening around; we are in a deep slumber, and we don't wish to wake up. But, does this definition in reality apply to the desire of a person to associate on a long term basis with a job he finds good? No, not for me at least.

Consider the power of the laws of inertia. Most people stay unless the pressure to leave becomes unbearable. Even in awful marriages, most men and many women stay unless the pain becomes more than they are willing to endure. It is only then that they either leave, or open the emotional door to being seduced away. It is no different in business. If conditions are good, the tendency is to stay. If conditions are bad then almost any carrot (and money is a very sweet smelling carrot) will tempt them away.

But again, thinking money is the only motivator is to assume that all people value the same things in the same hierarchy all of the time and at all stages of their life. Priorities change from person to person, and within a person itself, from time to time. And it is when these priorities change that people often look for a change. Or in other words, a change in priority catalyses anti-inertia.
In our highly educated and industrialized society, needs such as self-esteem, challenge, creativity, acceptance, belonging, and even aesthetics are the primary priorities. The challenge and enjoyment of the work itself, as well as the quality of life in the work environment are significant for most educated people. Others, need the security and comfort provided by feeling close to the people with whom they work.

Having put down the theory, I now examine why I am inertial. I appreciate
- An exceptional team
- A trustworthy management
- Having a say in the work I do and the manner in which I do it.
- Recognition and reward of effort
- Flexible working hours
- Being made feel important.

Of course, all people are not alike, nor are their needs alike. Nor can all companies create the same type of quality work life. Even this company might change its priorities tomorrow. Gone are those post Industrial Revolution days when once could threaten employees to work. Gone are those days when people were willing to work in uncomfortable working environments. As I recounted before, they'd bite the first carrot offered.

Having said all this, I seriously debate if this turned out to be an ad campaign for my company, or a justification for my inertia. Whatever it is, I am not willing to change it. Again, this brings to mind another hot topic - Don't love thy company, love thy job. But more on that, another time... And when you have fallen off you chairs sleeping, don't sue me for breaking your backbone!

A Teddy Bear named TED

Oxford Street, London. Famed for the Oxford Circus. On Oxford Street 1, Shop #526 is Mothercare. A shop for young growing families ... A shop with lots of toys for the kids... This story is of a Teddy Bear brought in when the shop was just opening. Ted

Ted was brought in as a mascot for the shop. Everyone loved him, he loved everyone back. The customers loved to pet it, and the owner believed it was responsible for doubling the business. The situation was all hunky-dory .. Until ..

The shop was very big now and the Owner decided to bring in some new teddies.. Ted took on the task of training them, to show them how to behave in the shop, how to react to the love shown by customers, and to give them an idea of their duties and responsilbities. Among the new lot was a cute she bear. Dorothy.

Dorothy took an immediate liking to Ted. His caring attitude won her over, and quite oblivious to Ted, she was falling for him. The days they spent together fortified her liking for him. And one fine day she told him. Ted already liked her, and when he heard this, his joy knew no bounds. After all, someone like him had told him he was loved.

The days ahead were the most memorable for them. They spent whatever time they could find, together. They talked for hours on together. Ted had never known such love in his life and he was happy for it.

Things took on a turn for the worse one fine day. The owner was opening shop in another corner of London, and since he believed Ted was a lucky mascot, he wanted to put him there. The day the decision was known, Ted and Dorothy sat and looked each other in the eyes, no words spoken. They knew the time had come, thought no one wanted to say Good Bye. They knew the owner was being selfish, but what could they do?

The day Ted was taken away, both cried... Tears that may or may not dry... Would there be another Ted? Would there be another Dorothy?

1987-1999

Orkut recently gave me two long lost schoolmates - Dhrisya and Sreeranjini. They re-kindled some of those long forgotten memories .. Cherian and me were laughing over them the other day. He told me to post this on my blog. Of course a lot of things we did then cannot even be mentioned in passing here. Albeit, a refined version worthy of reading is what i strive to present here.
This is not one story, but a collection of incidents from 1st to 12th standards, which still remain fresh in my mind. And i remember Cherian complimenting me for remembering the things i did and that too vividly. Ironically, i forget a lot of things happening to me now. Alzheimers? Selective Amnesia? What the $&#^$(
Ok so here we go...

Class 1 The admission interview I had with Saraswathy madam, and my father had accompanied me, because amma was pregnant with my bro.I also remember Shantanu Basu and Khwaja from this class. Both had a problem controlling their bowels. And often, one would end up screwing noses on account of the smell, when they let go.And the place where 1C was located - in the far left corner of the quadrangle on the opposite side of where you entered. I remember we had this big fight using water in our water bottles with class 1A. The result or the aftereffects escape me, but we might have won. ;-)

Class 3 My mother teaching social studies... Ohh.. that was so scary. She seemed to like every student but me. She refused to help me do my assignments which were given by her. I remember having been asked to find out names of five rivers in india and me forgetting to remember that. Yuck

Class 4 There came a beautiful girl to class. Kuwait war was going on and she was from there. Of course a mallu, but oh boy was she pretty. Almost every guy in class used to go ga ga. Our class this year was on the first floor, top right corner. And that gave us the excuse to sit near her - as it was the first floor, sunlight used to flood in making it impossible for those on one side to properly view the blackboard. All guys used to volunteer (compete would be a better word) to sit in the middle, even if it was on the floor.Why? She sat in the middle row. She left school the next year.. dunno where she is now... Aaahh..

Class 5 The final years of primary schooling. Manoj had a big influence in the class now. He told us, how to react if you touch a girl. We would rub it off with our hands and shoo it away .. or rub it on another guy's face. Gawd, and to think now that we yearn for a such touch .. how the years have gone by.. And of course how can i forget the school leader elections - my first brush with democracy, where Kannan(Class 5A) defeated me. I think the vote was 119-82, though i wouldnt take a bet on that. Of course, Saheej with his unending stock of stories of little men called undapkkru, who regaled us with them during lunch breaks. I still wonder if he made them up on the fly.And then all those abba and katti stuff. One day you ver part of Manoj's gang, the next day part of another.

Class 6 Highschool. First day of class, Muraleedhara Kurup sir was our class teacher and he said "your easy days are over. teachers in primary would give you lots of marks and cajole you. But from now on, its not gonna be that way. Work hard"

Class 8 The best memory of this year is the SUPW period - Socially useful productive work (later we we rechristened it Some useful periods wasted). Anyways, during one of these periods, Manoj, who else, who had this wonderful habit of going through girls' bags(girls would leave to another room where they were taught sewing and knitting and the works) found Rajis diary and in it written that she had a crush on me.Interesting thing is, it was what he claimed, and my friends still go by that claim. It was supposedly written in "code", the key to which was in the previous weeks' balarama. He copied the "code" into his diary and brought it to us deciphered, the next day. At that moment, I was shattered. All i could think of was my mothers reputation. Heehhe.. u are all ROTFL right? Hummphh

Class 9 The same SUPW period again - but this time with Pushkaran sir, affectionaltely known as Pushku. Like the girls, we too had to move to a new room wherein we were taught electrical wiring, hangar and candle making etc. The fun started as soon as each class began. We poured water into the candle moulds, bent the hangars the wrong way and then dropped condemned age old ceiling fans lying at the back of the class from a height to make a clattering noise that rang across the quadrangle.Pushku would chase us around the room, but that added to the meele. What a onderful time we hadAlso, social studies in English with Usha madam, Maths with Lalitha madam (uhh) and English with christopher sir are some of the things i remember

Class 10 The time of reckoning had finally arrived. Board Exams..every teacher asking just one thing. Study study and study. they loaded us with assignments and extra classes..but the thing i remember most is the result. Ashish's father knew someone in Madras and he helped us know the result beforehand. I'd scored 418 - 83.6%...far far below what my parents had expected. After prolonged discussions, it was decided that they would admit me for Commerce; my mark wasnt that bad, but for them, it was. I still remember the day when the official results were pasted on the notice board(there was no web publishing as yet, then) and i calculated my mark as 437. 418 was Anoop's mark, the guy just above me on roll. This pacified my parents and i am here finally because of that change in decision. I always wonder if at the first time itself my correct marks were known, would they be happy?Aah, my mind is not accustomed to handle such a complex question.

Class 11 and 12 Why two together? Because all i did was have fun, fun and more fun. Adolescence had set in, and it was quite difficult for me and my parents. I was very stubborn, had a bloody character and cared for nothing. My 11th results showed all that. I dunno how i managed to scrape through. In 11th i had some of my best relations with friends... a close group of people and we had fun together. In 12th, the experience of 11th having given me a light jolt, i tried to give a lil more attention to studies. But i remember when our house won the best bulletin board prize every time and at the year ending ceremony, we were given a special prize for that. I was in charge of it.I also remember a letter a close friend had written to me. I still have it with me; though i lost touch with her, in times of great solitude, that letter gives me a lot to think about.
Okkei, so we are at the end of a memorable school life.. I have more vivid memories, but to mention all would bore you to death (As if I've not done that already rite)

The girl who called me a dog

Hehehe... I am laughing at the some of the titles i cook up. Anyway, this is for real. And this piece is on my dear friend from college who gave me the darling name Snoopy. She told me i looked like him. Of course Snoop is a dog and so naturally by the theorem of association, she called me a dog. I knew with this kind of reasoning is shouldnt have been here.. I am destined for something else...Now, back to what i wanna write about.

Even though i call her a very close friend, she still remains an enigma to me, still is anonymous. (You now know why she keeps commenting to my posts under the anonymoud mode). Hi da, this one is for you. Expecting ur comments on this too..

Even being classmates, it wasnt too close a relation, because i always felt she had this unsurmountable wall against her heart that prevented anyone from getting a glimpse of anything. I later thought (or someone told me) that people build these high walls not to keep others out, but just to see who cares enough to climb it.

Well, I couldnt have cared less in college. But when we were out of college, and she remains one of the few people still with UST, we grew closer (I hope so). I also spent some time climbing that wall, only to see that there was another moat beyond it, the bridge over which, still remains drawn.
I always had an inkling that there was something wrong somehwere, and i cajoled her in every way possible to share it, but to no awail. I finally made her promise that one day she would. I hope the day come soon, for her sake.

Hey, i know u are reading this and so, heres another time i am reminding you of your promise...
And my dear other readers, what do u feel about all this? Another interesting "title" but not an interesting story to match?? :-D (I think i'll make that a habit from now on)

Kalavarahalli Beta

Adventure is something we software engineers can claim as our morning cup of tea. And to set things straight, my best friends from college and of course me, decided to arrange a trekking+adventure+get-together all in one. The place of course was bangalore, not because it was famed for its adventure spots, but because it was equidistant for all of us.

17th March was decided upon, and since it was a late call, and more because I was fed up travelling hunched up in a volvo for 16 hours, i decided to fly. Since time was not a big factor and money was, i decided to book myself on an Air Deccan, for a round trip journey. Anyways, unlike the visa experience, this time the flight took off on time. I reached Bangalore at around 10 am, Muneer had come to pick me up. We had breakfast on the way and then we went to the house where these guys stayed. Arun and Balaji were already there. After some chit chat and lots of rounds of playing cards, we went for lunch.

After lunch we packed things for the trip and set out on two bikes - and Enticer and a Karisma. Even though we set off by about 2, it was 4 pm by the time we were able to get out of the city. Another hour and half of driving, and we reached our mountain.(even though it was more of a hill, i'd call it a mountain for adding on to the dramatics) Called Kalavarahalli Beta, it wasn’t a tourist destination, and for the same reason, there wasn’t a chartered path to the top. Initially, we thought that was kewl and would give us the ultimate adventure; if only we knew what lay ahead..

We parked our bikes in an ashram which was quite some distance away from the foot of the mountain. We were also told human inhabitation ended there. Everything was adding on to the excitement. By 6 we'd started climbing one face of it. We'd already started realizing that time and light was not in our favor. Every step forward had to be ascertained as to whether it would lead us in the right direction. One time we might be held up by thorny shrubs, another time by huge rocks that seem to pop up out of nowhere. Coming up against such road blocks, we were often faced to retreat, crawl on knees, drag ourselves up rock faces and what not. Our hands and legs were already spotting with blood from the innumerable scratches.

7.30 pm and we were still only 80% to the top. We could not at that point see one inch infront of us. And hence we made the decision to halt. Being brave was one thing, being foolish another. From where we stood, we could guess that the way ahead would not be easy. It was growing steeper by the degree. And so, as soon as we found a place we could call level (even though there was a 20 degree incline, i'd call that level, in perspective)...

We had just enough space to stretch our legs and lie down. We started exchanging stories and chit chatting. At about 8, i suddenly realized that one big rock face some distance away to our left was very clearly visible. I realized that it was not so before. I showed it to the guys and even they were awe struck. It had a kind of a spooky lighting, almost like moon light reflecting off a big white sheet of cloth, and that too in a background of total darkness. We had got out our cameras, when we realized with a slight terror, that it was actually a fire which had started below. We were not sure if it was a forest fire or someone had set it off deliberately, to burn off the flora off the mountain. Anyways, the fact was that a fire had ignited, and it was starting to grow big.

This time of the year, when the sun is blazing down, all plants are dried up, and on this mountain, it was no different. To our horror, we found that the fire was spreading rapidly. We then had to take a decision - do we climb down then? Or ride on a remote chance that the fire might abate. As i mentioned before, bravery is one thing, foolishness is another; so we decided to descend. In hindsight that was a brave decision. The ascend was so easy... nothing of that sort could be said for the descent. It was a walk down hell. The fire on one side, darkness on the other... the slipping and crumbling earth and rocks beneath. I felt at that point that we had a larger share of adventure than we'd asked for. It was a race against time...We'd have to beat the fire before it beat us.

One of the most interesting things was how we never stopped to decide which way was best. We simply went climbing down, using the only source of light - a torch. Finally after an hour of exertion, we reached a plane ground, about 50% off the top. That was one place where the incline had graded off, and a sort of a step (a big one at that) was created. This place was risk free as there was a good amount of clearance from the edge of the shrubs, and hence no danger of the fire creeping up on us during the night.

If you think this was all, wait a minute. An hour later, we all had food, the guys along with me had KF beer and we were lying back, exchanging stories, cracking jokes and star gazing. The atmosphere was so serene that it is beyond words to describe it. We were all tired from the exertion and sleep was slowly getting to us. And lo and behold, what should we see, but a man walking towards us. We were scared stiff because we knew there was no inhabitation around. He came near us, and in broken pieces of english and telugu explained that he was a guide and that he would help us climb to the top, in the morning. We were pacified a bit, when he then asked us more than once if we would be spending the night at that place itself or we would be climbing up. This had us worried again. we decided not to sleep that night.

2 am, and it was becoming almost impossible to stay awake. The wind was doing its part by rustling the dead leaves and twigs giving the impression of someone walking. And then it actually happened. A group of four people suddenly materialized from our left side. Three guys and a gal. At 2 in the night, the composition of the group immediately made us realize that all was not well. They had also come trekking, and we told them the way. We also told them about the fire. They couldnt care less it seemed. Half an hour later, though, they were back saying they could not go on. Where they went from there is anyones guess. Poor girl.

Our sleep was all gone. At that point in the night, when it was really getting cold, not being able to sleep was something... and the only logical thing that came to our mind was to light a campfire. With the fear of igniting another forest fire, we'd decided against lighting one earlier. But now things had changed and we needed some action. All the twigs we collected earlier were put to good use. We had a nice fire going and then we did a war dance around it with all of us singing and chanting some crap song.

By 4.30 the last of the twigs had burnt off and we decided to pack our stuff. And by 5 we had begun our descent again. The slope was now very gradual and descent was easy. by5.30 we had reached the ashram only to find that nobody had woken up and the gates were still closed. We had to loiter there until 6 before they opened up. Once they did, we took off our bikes and there ended one of the best adventures of my lifetime.

PS:- I know you noticed that i did not do anything weird with the title.

Hydrochloric Acid

A long wait and finally my visa interview date was here.. 25th Jan... I had quite a few experiences during this trip. And since I was running out of ideas to post something here, I thought why not this one... I have broken it into the different stages of my travel, more so for my conveniece than yours.. :-)

Pattom to Airport.

Many of you are wondering why this stage is described. Don’t jump the gun, read on.
My flight time was 8 in the morning and I was there at the airport by 6.55. I sat there waiting for my friend. He came in 10 minutes later and we started walking to the entrance. I picked up my ticket from the bag and opened it to find a Paramount ticket there. I knew the morning flight was Air
Deccan, so I checked the next ticket and there was the Air Decca one; But there was some problem with the timings. That was when I realized that my onward travel was booked on a paramount which left at 5.45 in the evening rather than the 8 am Decca. My friend stared at me in disbelief that
I did not bother checking the ticket even once. Anyways, it was clear I could not go in that flight. Hence we said good bye, and I came back home. I had to cook up some nice story about Decca ditching me and they giving another ticket for the evening. That’s when I realized the worth of Air
Deccan never being on time. You could blame it on them and get away with it. Never did I realize, it would haunt me later...

Pattom to Airport- Retake
So finally, at 4pm, I again set off for the airport. Paramount had only recently started their Tvm-Chennai operations and hence the crew was all Courteous and they took good care of you and made you feel important. They even had a standing arrangement with the Muthoot group to provide
free refreshments, once you showed them the boarding pass. How I wished I did not have tea from home. Hence I declined the offer and proceeded to the waiting area. Some time later, Jayaram and Srinivas (singer) showed up. No, they were not signed by paramount to provide entertainment;
they were merely traveling to Chennai. I had heard about Jayaram's down-to-earth nature, but had not believed it, but it turned out to be true. He was very much pleasing..smiling at anyone who cared to offer him a glance.

The in-flight service was also good, and what was striking was the larger leg space compared to other domestic carriers. I'd definitely recommend this airline to others.

Chennai
Arrival
It was almost 7.30 by the time I claimed my baggage. I booked a prepaid taxi to my accommodation and proceeded to the taxi stand to find to my dismay all old ambassadors lining up. Certainly vehicles which need be condemned. But as luck would have it, an indigo came in at that point, and it
was scheduled for a pick up very near to where I wanted to go. Hence they asked me board the indigo. What luck. It took only half an hour to reach the accommodation. When I reached, I found that in addition to the friend who had left in the morning, there were three others who all had their visa interviews the other day. I knew all of them, so we had a good time that evening. That night, I was tensed. As always, I get tensed in a build-up to anything important. This time it was all the more so, since I did not have an idea if all the required documents were there with me. And to top it, a couple of my friends spend a lot of time going through the documents, trying to memorize things. Since I was in fear of finding something missing if I took out the documents, I never took them out.

D-Day
A couple of those guys had the interview at 8 in the morning, and so due to the noise, even I got up at 6. I knew I would not be able to sleep anymore, hence I spent time helping them get ready; tying a tie for one, getting ones shoes etc. By the time they'd left, the newspaper had arrived.
I spent an hour reading the paper. I cant imagine a day in my life when I’ve spent so much time reading a paper. There was another guy who had the interview at the same time as mine, at 11, but he was still sleeping as if he cared nothing in the world about this. By the time he'd got up, I'd
completed my morning ablutions. By 9.30 we got ready, had breakfast and left for the consulate. We were not sure how much time it would take in Chennai traffic to reach the consulate, hence the 2 hour allowance. But we reached there at 10. And the scene that awaited us there was nothing
short of spectacular

The consulate
We saw a half-a-kilometer long queue infront of the consulate. To imagine the plight, just think about standing on the footpath, besides one of the busiest roads of Chennai, in full formal attire. It was only by 11.45 that we reached the front of the queue. By the time, it was difficult to say I had a white shirt on. But the best thing it did was to calm me down. All and any nerves I had jumped back in place by this time. I then realized something which I had probably not noticed as yet. I get tensed building up for the grand finale; thinking about it. But when it is actually there, I am quite
unfazed. I remembered the times when I had to take sessions or conduct meetings or debate or extempore. It was always the prelude that was difficult to negotiate, the actual challenge was always easy..

Once the initial verification was over, I proceeded to the finger printing area. I placed my index fingers on the glass panel, and then I got a slight start. The person in charge took some time looking at the screen and then at me. He frowned his eyebrows, hit something on the keyboard, rubbed
his chin, and I had taken it for granted that my finger print matched some dreaded al-quaeda criminal. In my mind I was already seeing the visa team back home saying "gwad you are the first one to be rejected on finger prints... you have disgraced the company"... But, finally, he said thank
u sir and that was when I finally heaved a sigh of relief.

Once that was done, all I had to complete was the actual interview process. I was asked to change counters three times. most often having given my place to ladies with kids. Finally, to my relief, I saw a roly poly simple guy sitting at the interviewer’s desk. The kindness on his face was clearly
registering, and I felt even more relief. But then disaster struck again. There was this guy infront of me, who claimed 9 years of experience, and from the questions of Mr Roly Poly, one could fathom that they were not convinced. He then left his seat and came back with a lady, who started off
in a loud voice saying the certificates this man produced were fake. There took place a heated debate, and again my hopes of being issued a visa were being washed down the drain. This guy immediately took off; now there were two people infront of me. And at that point, I was amazed to see how the interviewer switched off and right back on again. None of the anger he showed to the fake guy was evident on his face. Within two minutes, he'd approved the visas of the people in front and suddenly it was my turn

"Good Morning sir, can I c ur documents please"
"Good Morning to you too sir; here they are"
"Can I see the supporting documents"
"Yes"
"Hmm.. So what is UST going to make you do once you are in the US"
I gave him the prepared answer with a lot of tech stuff.
He did not allow me to complete
"What branch of engineering did you do?"
"E&C"
"Ok sir, your visa is approved. Your passport will reach you after three working days"
"Thank you sir, have a nice day"

And it was over in a jiffy. And I was an H1b holder.

By the time I reached the apartment. it was 2.45. I then sent an sms to all my friends and team mates. After that I just collapsed on the bed and had a pretty deep sleep. Got up by 6, had a masala dosa and a coffee and then friend rice in the night.

Republic Day
The flight was originally scheduled for 12. But in the morning, by 9 itself I received a message saying it was delayed until 3.55. Consequently I reached the airport by 2.45. I checked in immediately, only to learn that the flight was delayed by another hour. Finally, after 2 hours of wait, it finally took off at 5.15 and I was in trivandrum by 6.30. And, so here I am now, blogging about my visa experience.

And for those of you who doubt why this post is titled so - did any of you people ask Roshan Andrews why notebook was called so, after watching the film? If you have not, don’t ask me about the title either. If you have, then you need an explanation - which is - this acid is released during
digestion process, and when people are tensed, it can lead to acidity and all related stuff. Rings a bell? No? Neither for me!!

Silver Jubilee and Beyond

2007 is special for the world. It will be a quarter of a century since it was blessed with me. But the same cannot be said for myself. This year brings with it the harsh reality that i might have only as much more time left in this world. No fantasies, no hopes for a longer life. This profession might leave us dead in 10 years time, so why think about even another 25. The next reason is more dreadful and is the topic of this post.

Marriage...Hmm... that sacred institution called marriage. Friends, classmates abd batchmates seems to be marrying off rapidly.. and i am being part of an ever dwindling minority-bachelors. I dunno why, but the very thought of it scares me - not the dwindling number of bachelors, but the thought of getting married. I dunno if it is abt the additional responsibility that comes along. I dunno if it is the insecurity of not being mature enough. I even dunno if it is thought of spending the rest of the life with one lady, that scares me.

I'd definitely want atleast another 3 or 4 years to get settled in my career. That means 28 or 29 would be the age when i would ideally even think considering it. Now that 3 or 4 years would fly by in the whip of an eyelash, i had seriously began thinking about what i wanna do with my life. And all that happened around me began to have serious impacts on my thought process. And all of them really making me ask myself whether i really wanted to get married. Honestly, at this point in life, if u'd ask me, i would probably say i am gonna stay a bachelor for life - a chronic bachelor! It might be seeing the failure in many such relations that influence my decision... or it might be because i am still not serious about life; and as mentioned above, mature enough to handle the nuances. Or, it might be because i am sure i cannot marry the one whom i would really have loved to.

I am hoping, as time goes by that something or someone would make me realize the truth. They might only show the way; i would have to walk it. I would have to make those decisions, and i sincerely hope my mind remains clear and focused.